Relentless Pursuit

The period of adolescence for many individuals is impacted by their social connections and personal identity development. For further learning and understanding in these areas, read below!

Factors affecting self-esteem:

Number of best friends decline and the most important characteristics of these friends are:

1. Intimacy
2. Mutual understanding
3. Loyalty

Gender Differences in Friendship: 

• Emotional closeness is more common between girls than boys
• Boys’ discussions usually focus on accomplishments and mastery issues
• Girls’ friendships typically focus on communal concerns
• Boys’ tend to focus on achievement and status
• For both genders, other-sex friends increases with age even though same-sex friends are more common

The Internet & Friendships:

• About 77% of U.S. 12 to 17 year olds have a cell phone
• Texting is the number one type of electronic interaction between teenage friends
• Girls are more likely to text and contact friends than boys
• About 80% of U.S. teenagers use social networking sites
• Time that adolescents spend on social networking is increasing

Friendship and Adjustment: 

1. Close friendships provide opportunities to explore the self and develop a deep understanding of another
2. Close friendships provide a foundation for future intimate relationships
3. Close friendships help young people deal with the stresses of adolescence
4. Close friendships can improve adolescents’ attitudes towards involvement in school

Factors affecting self-esteem in adolescents:

1. Parenting style
2. Teachers
3. Peer acceptance
4. Larger social environment

Adolescents who are exposed to highly negative parental feedback tend to rely on peers to affirm their self worth. This can be true within any adolescent atmosphere including youth group. Some students try to obtain affirmation from peers when their home life isn’t going well. Consistently getting negative parental feedback can lead adolescents to believe that they are incompetent and unloved. As leaders, if a student’s home situation is similar to the one described above, we should encourage them and not take on the responsibility of the parents but be a continual support for them. 

What affects Identity Development?

1. Personality
2. Family
3. Peers
4. School
5. Community
6. Culture

Supporting Healthy Identity Development

Strategy       Explanation

Engage in warm, open communication.	Provides both emotional support and freedom to explore values and goals.
Initiate discussions that promote high-level thinking at home and at school.	Encourages rational, deliberate selection among competing beliefs and values.
Provide opportunities to talk with adults and peers who have worked through similar identity questions	Offers models of identity achievement and advice on how to resolve identity concerns
Provide opportunities to participate in extracurricular activities and vocational training programs	Permits young people to explore the real world and adult work.

Types of Self: 

1. Actual self: Personal conception
2. Possible self: Who you could possibly be
3. Ideal self: Who you want to be. Living best personal life
4. Feared self: Who you don’t want to be

Teens are most likely to display their false self around romantic partners. 

The discrepancy between actual and ideal self is a depressed mood.

The greatest discrepancy occurs during mid adolescence.

References: Many of the material used for this post is derived from the Developmental Psychology course with Dr. Jessica Fales at Washington State University.