Relentless Pursuit

Last week in one of my classes, we took the time to look at how varying couples, whether famous or fictional, interact within their relationship. More specifically we dissected activities the couples like to do together and what their goals would be, struggles they have in the relationship, pain that each individual carries, as well as the way that the relationship is repaired in the end. The couple that my group and I decided to look at was Bob and Helen from The Incredibles. Other famous couples that we will take a look at today include Aladdin and Jasmine, Carl and Ellie, as well as Belle and the Beast.

The Incredibles: Bob and Helen

Some goals this couples may set are:

• Big family moments
• Balance of normal family life and adventure life
• Connection
• Creating a structured routine
• Honesty and trust
• Professional fulfillment
• Mutual understanding
• Parenting agreement on safety vs superpowers

Some struggles this couple has are:

• Bob feeling underappriecated
• Helen feeling like she is on her own with household duties
• Bob feels like Helen does not support him
• Helen feels like Bob’s superpowers are more important than his family

How can each offer grace to one another?

• Listen in a way that receives what the other says without assuming criticism
• Recognize each other’s strengths
• Soften communication
• Increase reassurance on both ends
• Gives space for the other partner to talk

Aladdin: Aladdin & Jasmine

Some goals this couple may have:

• Increasing trust within the relationship
• Engagement of family in healthy way
• Empathy towards each other
• Full disclosure on their background
• Quality time

Some struggles the couple has are:

• Difference in SES and demographics
• Jasmine’s father and uncle dissaproves
• Aladdin is not a prince
• Jasmine is reluctant to engage in the relationship
• The secrecy of the relationship from Jasmine’s family
• Aladdin’s habit of stealing

How can each offer grace to one another?

• Understand that their family backgrounds and cultures are vastly different
• Support one another in the midst of adversity
• Recognize they both need to meet in the middle on some issues
• Engage in healthy familial relationships and disengage from toxic ones
• Recognize what each partner

Beauty & the Beast: Belle & the Beast

Some goals this couple may have:

• Quality time together
• Intentionality
• Growth in intimacy
• Generosity
• Unconditional love

Some the struggles the couple has are:

• Communication
• Beast feeling inadequate
• Belle withdrawing when conflict arises
• Difference between being a human and being a creature
• Family background

How can each offer grace to one another?

• Assuming that each has the best intentions
• Seeing the strengths within one another
• Allowing each other to be independent as an individual, yet dependent on each other
• Ability to incorporate time outs when disagreements get heated for self-regulation